Live Post

Cottons of warmth fill my chest
The fine hairs of my skin rise, mimicking an open meadow bending to the waves of air
The kind of air that surrounds you
And you feel relief
A slow widened smile comes to life
I can't help myself, my inner child screams in excitement
How can one person be so captivating?

Live Post

Surrounded by broken glass, had the vase shattered once more.

Like wet sand had the speckles splintered my blood soaked fingers,

Holding my heart, filling the holes, scraping the surface to find a new layer

A new me, hidden under the scarred flesh, my precious Pride stood across the room, frozen.

The mirror I once admired, darkness reflected before me

Where had my Motivation fled?

Chaos no longer dances with me, all of what that was the crowd now against the wall, staring.

My heart, rid of crying, complaining, cursing and criticizing, all but a fragile bulb filled with hurt

Too tight and it shall melt away onto the dust this vase once was

Too loose and it shall fall into the wrong hands

Free Of Pain

Hang me out to the wind and reveal my broken skin

Bruises deep within, only scratches are left for proof

All that show who I am, I am not me

I am not who you think I may be, because of these

All that display who I have been

I am not defined by them but they are all you see

Hidden behind the veins of hurt

I am no longer beautiful

My heart no longer bleeds

My eyes no longer cry for love

My body, broken by your words

My hands, they cover my shame

Sunny days, now painful

And the clouds remind me of my wounds

All of that I am I cannot be anymore

I am broken and no longer deserve to be

Free of my wounds

Free of my shame

Free of your words

Free of pain

Free of me, who I used to be

Shattered

White. Hot. Flash
Fragmented times
Swift. Random. Lights
I've seen them all,

Your back to me; fists held stiff
I couldn't tell
My tears weren't enough
I couldn't scream how much you mean as you leave
My throat was in pain,
My chest struggled to lift what's become like lead over my heart

Red. Cold. Silence
Heated fading pain now stabbed my fingers as you walk away
Why are my feet glued to where I endure my worst?
Where the hole torn by your leave now gives me the chills
Bare my chest you could see the fear in my veins, blue at the surface
In my mind I scramble to find the ability to breathe

Turn around.
Turn. Around.
Hear my scream as I have now for the tenth time in my mind.
Where my pain finds my shattered heart my tears have now showered my face
How my mind can't find the right words to make you understand
The war between logic and love behind my eyes,
Watching your back now as you slam the door in my face

I guess this is it.
Internal grief between my heart and mind
How could you be so foolish?
You stupid girl.
You gave it all away.
You hopeless, stupid girl.

Sunset, Negril

5:18 pm

5:18 pm

5:22 pm

5:29 pm

5:32 pm

5:34 pm

5:35 pm

5:44 pm

6:10 pm

All images were taken with a Blackberry 8900

Date: March 10, 2012

Location: Grande Pineapple Resort, Negril, Jamaica

Come Home

Loud winds of distasteful words and tainted dreams
Can the heart shatter anymore?
Empty feelings, imaginary beliefs
Breath of weary air, hasty wishes you were here

Touch of heated skin, thoughts of unbiased laughter
Now lingers in spaces it shouldn't fill.
All of mine, heartache; more bittersweet than aged wine
Your name, your scent, I die inside a sweeter death;
My heart, strings that hold it together, grow weak;
Gusts of your voice pushes me to deeper darkness,
Oh how I wish the pain would collide,
To the sweeps of our lips I hunger.
Keep me whole my sanity deprived,
To the seconds I could hold you;
My stomach now in terrible knots
My knees wither, my strength childlike,
To the many times you held my hand
My eyes now submerged
My heart, beating, fading; how time has grown impatient
My voice; twisted into whispers....

Come home.

Tis' The Season ...to get Married!

Love is in the air this season and why not get married on the birth of our dear Saviour. I've always been a fan of weddings, decorating however, somewhat annoying. Here's why.

Ever experienced the time consuming moment to tie over 50 separate rosettes, ribbons, laced/beaded garlands to each and every centrepiece for the guest tables?

This has been a trade passed on to me by my mother dearest who shares a passion like I do in arts & craft, and in this case; beautifying someone's special event. Now I mean not to exclude the stress & strain to stand on step ladders, hammering thumb tacks because our fingers have gotten numb and all the back & forth trips for every knick knacks to be placed.

This wedding took place on December 25, 2011 (yes, Christmas Day) at the Mandeville Seventh Day Adventist Church, Manchester. The colour schemes were burnt orange and jade green. How often we have used these colours but they compliment each other nicely. The heightened joke, however, because these colours represent our political oppositions and with election around the corner (December 29, 2011) I do commend the bride and groom for such a brave choice. We Jamaicans somehow take the segregations of such colours very seriously but nothing like a wedding to bring both sides of the party (family) together. Kidding. The family in union are very welcoming and most of all helpful. It was pleasing to know that during all the fuss when the groom should be resting he stayed with the team making sure everything was running smooth and we were all comfortable.
As it is in Jamaica, winter isn't closely compared to the intense snow like temperatures but only in the mountainous areas. In Mandeville, every Christmas is cold! -- like freeze-your-butt-off cold and decorating for this wedding especially on Christmas eve, where the festivities of last minute shopping and pre-New Year parties were going on, team and my myself were grabbing for warmth whenever, wherever, whilst putting up the backdrops and intricate centrepieces (see slideshow below).

Get the flash player here: http://www.adobe.com/flashplayer

As always, decorating is fun after all is done and you see the result when everything is in place. For contact info, see details below:

Black Silk Designs

"Designers & Planners for all occasions"

Creative Director/ Event Planner & Designer: Mrs. Sandra A. Peart

Email: black.silk.designs@gmail.com

Phone: 876.815.9381/ 876.624.1297

Designer & Balloon Artist: Mrs. Stacey-Ann N. Davis

Email: sporter88@hotmail.com

Phone: 876.436.1369

Lighting Device

Taken: November 24, 2009   |   Location: Presentation Room, CSA, University of Technology. Kingston Jamaica
Device: Sony Ericsson K750i 2MP Auto Focus

Caught in the moment

Taken: December 24, 2011   |   Location: Russell Place Gardens, Mandeville, Jamaica W.I. 
Device: Blackberry 8900 3.2MP Auto Focus

Don't Do That

When I start to feel I'm not wanted...desired...no longer welcomed - emotionally. I'll admit, nothing makes me worry more.
Then I try to play vindictive - which never really works for me or do me any good; because I suck at it and only to you it seems I'm playing games.


That's where you're wrong.Complete opposite; because I wish you knew how frustrating it gets -- like ants pinching you in random places; it drives you nuts at first. So I get angry because with effort it has no effect...only makes you powerful to be cynical -- vindictive; which at first was my intention and the frustration builds.

So I worry more. Don't do that. I will lose. 

I'm good at losing because I hate games. But that only makes me hurt more because you think its funny to see me have these tantrums - frustrated because I DON'T want to look cute throwing (meaningless but relevant)...tantrums.

I want to look like and make you feel, when a really attractive woman walks towards the bar while she orders her whiskey.

That I want; to be in her five inch heels at that moment.

Don't do that. It transforms me into a two year old. Boyfriends don't like two year olds, they prefer them desirable. It makes me despise women like her walking in and such perfect timing too, and that's when I'm the over-jealous two year old.

Now have your whiskey and come back when you want more.

When The World Sleeps...

Black Pools scattered across the porcelain tiles
Soaked and stained
Cold and drained

Slow tempered heartbeats
Distant pulses
Empty noises

I whispered my scream on twisted blades of grass
Paper thinned walls, these whispers could break my heart
Your eyes pierced my thoughts
Your voice scorched my soul

Dancing metal broke my stare
Black pools stretched all around
Your footsteps strengthened each pulse
Your breath covered me in chills
My eyes betray me
While my mind scolded me
The room suddenly; pitch black.

Silent screams muffled with tears
"Please don't leave me!" I wish you could hear
Arms of strangers I wished were yours
Suddenly the pain entirely I've ignored
My strength forgotten
My heart cries out. Suddenly.
My dear, don't worry,
I am right here.

Two Years Two Strong (Part 1)

Simple pleasures, of these I may,
Close to my heart you will stay
Distant tracks erase with time,
But still forever I call you mine

Thinking of how my thoughts linger,
Simple pleasures; the touch of your fingers
If not for the heart;
The skin reveals the darkest of desires
Won't you comfort me?
In your arms I always retire
My protector, friend...lover
My desires lie with no other
From our first spoken words,
Had you my heart;
My love unfurled
For you my dear, I do still care
Eternally, I am always here
Let not time tell our story, but the memories we keep
Let not scars betray us, however deep
My lovable babe
This milestone marks yet another
May we walk our path further,
From this day forward; hands held tight together

I love you,
Eternally and forever yours,

Live Post

Pride held the biggest chamber, and now her suitcases are pile high at the door -- in or out, Pride?
Please don't go

Silent Screams...

Wrap me in your finest silk and I'll show you how easily they break. 

Tainted hearts make the worse centrepieces at this party for two.

Enthusiasm hanging on a silk web, will High Hopes break her fall?

Sing your lonely song for me Memories?

There's only so much Pride can take.

Broken Vase

In my world, white walls & floors extended to the furthest distance, there's only one but broken vase, each piece breaking one by one.

Five Mins of Chaos

Glass shattered across the front door
Someone broke in and Chaos is getting excited

Pride no longer feels pretty
Anger rushes over and Pain tries to grab hold of him
Fear plans to move in with no intention of leaving.

Please Chaos, I can't hear what Truth is saying
I can't think straight with Tears screaming on top of her lungs


Party for the weak hearted.
And everyone is invited.

Still Life

Fold my heart to it's smallest, Motivation has ran out of ideas to keep a smile. 

Chaos looks annoyed at Time who now sits still by the window, tapping his feet to a silent rhythm. 

My precious Energy looks to me with saddened eyes.

"How are you?" - they all seem to want to scream.

Fear keeps trying to reach me as I end the call for the eighth time. 

There goes Memories again, searching for something to make me smile - a hug for every attempt.

"Where is Pain?" - I ask.

The roles have been switched for Pain and Confidence. Pride has found her muse to entertain herself in the mirror. High Hopes and Enthusiasm looks to me with worry on their hearts.

Fold my heart once more. My heart is too big for a room so small. 

Empty Space

High Hopes stares back at me in shock, I've hurt her feelings. Enthusiasm sits across from us in silence.
What have I done?

Live Post

Question

Cain …and Abel’s Best Friend

Yea, there wasn’t any best friend mentioned in the story but hear me out. Let’s put it this way. Cain and Abel are brothers (in the sense that of man suggested among mankind). Abel has a best friend. To be clear, it was not intentional to use the same Good vs Evil as strongly put out in the real story.

Anyways...

Cain was introduced to Jane; Abel’s best friend, through simple gestures of hello, my name is…etc. Cain grew fond of Jane’s company and figured hey, they can become great friends too! Jane didn’t mind, friends are her favourite part of living.