Day 129...
No idea what's going on...no idea on how to deal with it any longer; this has been drawn out for too long. My relationship feels empty, well...at least for me.
Butterflies have out-lived me. I can't associate myself with that feeling any more; don't know how.
Have I finally grown up?
Have I given up on love and turned myself to this monster who no longer keeps the feeling of warmth and love together?
I can no longer get that feeling even to linger for one minute. Do I still have enough love left in me?
For him?
For someone else?
Meeting new guys have become a norm now, but that's just conversing with them. I've become so used to being disappointed in myself that seeing them in a potential light kinda sickens me and at the same time makes me feel stupid or mean.
I like meeting new guys; but I liked it better when my logic weren't so forefront about them. I want that feeling back. Whenever I see and converse with a handsome guy I want that feeling that takes over when he says how beautiful I am. I had that today but the feeling wasn't there.
Have I lost it completely?
Day 197...
Life is Over...and a new day begins
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