Day 53...
I'm lost...I'm unsure...I want answers but I'm afraid to ask for fear of blowing things out of proportion and cause an argument. I have so much fear at this point I don't know if it is healthy.
I feel so worthless! Like a mud-soaked piece of paper.
Day 65...
My interest -- no, my enthusiasm is slipping. I am no longer excited to be with him -- yet in dying need of his presence. What has become of us? If he's still interested, why is it my initiative to pick up the phone to call? Everything, every situation reminds me of him and it makes me depressed to try and steer my mind to another direction. I have realised that I've become the center of attention for other individuals and my mind is at standing point; confused, lost and forgot the delicate ways how to converse with another man without showing how desperate I am to want a guy who wants me; to make me feel needed.
I feel so rebellious when a guy tries to show me how easy it is to seek the feeling of being needed elsewhere...why? Why am I so blinded or stubborn to accept the reality that I can never feel needed at times when I need his love.
Why can't he miss me already?
Does he need me?
Am I not the desire I once was?
I NEED SOMEONE WHO NEEDS ME. MAKE ME FEEL NEEDED.
I'm losing ground. I can't take it anymore. It's hard to give love and not receive any, it's torture to feel like the only one who's in this relationship. I need him but I guess he doesn't need me.
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